Punjabi moms are the most difficult species in the whole universe to impress.
I can see you grinning and nodding in agreement. It’s like everything we do fails and then she bring out her guns blazing non-stop bullets upon us and if we complain, then the melodrama!
Haye ve! Hun apne peo vaang tu vi mainu bol. Main tan kise joggi ni. Hun tan mera putar vi meinu akhan kad da hai. Waheguru ji! Main tan mar hi jana hun!
Oops! Nothing can save you if you reach to that level. You just have to surrender and agree to her no matter how irrational she may sound to us.
You cannot run away from this, but surely can avoid this.
I’m sharing here the holy grail of keeping your Punjabi mom always happy and impressed.
This was me, before I discovered ways to impress her.
1. Make your bed
MAKE IT. MAKE IT. MAKE IT. I know we sit on it the whole day and that what’s the point. But if that makes the her happy, do it.
2. Get good grades
Basically this is a simple formula. Good grades = Happy Mom = You get whatever you want = Makes you happy.
SO BASICALLY STUDY REALLY HARD.
3. Throw your clothes in the wash bin
This is the silliest thing I know, man. Even I know, we literally sit on our laptop the whole day and still the room is dirty. So but clean it up.
4. Dry the bathroom floor
Yes, I don’t know whether this is for all households or just mine. But my mom freaks out if I don’t mop the floor dry after a bath. Such simple demands yet I keep forgetting. Like I legit never remember the small things to impress her.
5. Pick up the plates after dinner
OMG. This is the hardest thing ever.
After I am done, I just get up and my mom’s like ‘Kithe jaa rahi hai kudiye? Eh baande teri maa chaku.’
And I’m just like ‘Ahh…’
You forgot to do something.*thinks of everything I was supposed to do but haven’t done* but then mom says “Your plate’ and I’m like ‘phew’ that was easy.
6. Be punctual for your her events
YES YES YES. I know if a parties at 8 our moms would for some odd reason would like to leave by around 7:15. And If we come out by 7:16, the whole house is in a frenzy and she is yelling ‘we are late’.
So for your own good, be little punctual for her.
7. Put things back in the correct place
I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW?
Literally moms know if you have displaced something even an inch. And if we dont put it back in the correct place. SHE SCREAMS AND THEN YOU SCREAM AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING. I guess all moms have slight OCD.
8. Help your mom when there’s a party at home
Yes, this is for brownie points.
Help mum serve the plates and snacks to the guess and become dad’s waiter for transporting daaru to all his friends. This way you’re killing two birds with one stone. And they will love you for this and then you can blackmail them in the future. HEHEHE…
9. Spend money wisely is the best way to impress them
Oh man. I know this is the hardest. Money literally flies out of my wallet.
10. Smile and be grateful
Your mom will love you no matter what. Just be grateful and smile, that makes her so happy in the end of the day.